Gender vs. Sex

 What is Gender? Gender is a social construct. It is not biologically based. It is created out of cultural trends and expectations. Pink or Blue in a gender reveal party... society is already forming an idea of what the characteristics of that child will be. There is no actual preference for pink for girls or blue for boys, it's society that create's this. It's just a color, there's no biological base in it. In fact, my son who is color blind has a hard time differentiating between Pink, the Orange, and Light Green but he has learned through socialization that "girls like pink". Interestingly, it used to be the opposite--pale blue was considered soft and associated with girls, and red was considered bold, and hence pink or light red, was associated with boys. Don't believe me? Check out the original 1953 Peter Pan Disney movie. Captain Hook and Michael are dressed in pink and Wendy is dressed in pale blue. 

Gender is purely a creation of our societal beliefs. Society expects women to be more beautiful, thus adorning themselves with make-up, jewelry, and fashion while men are expected to be plainer, more natural, or professional looking. Think about the variety of suits compared to the variety of women's dresses. There is nothing genetic or biological about clothing. 

Women have historically been thought to be more social and emotional while men are portrayed as stoic and strong, or one's "rock". Women tend to be caregivers, but there may be a biologic base for this given they are the childbearing sex. That's not to say that males in other species are never primary caregivers because for one of my favorite animals, the seahorse, the male actually carries the babies in their pouch. Men tend to feel pressure to be the breadwinner and provide for their families, a sense (that I'm told) may increase after having children. Interestingly, in other species such as lions, it's the females who are responsible for hunting and providing. 

Women are looked upon as more fragile, seemingly both emotionally and physically, while men are supposed to be macho and strong. There are clearly physical differences between the sexes when it comes to strength or proportion of muscle vs. fat in part due to testosterone production in males. And increased testosterone is also associated with an increased labido and aggressive behaviors. That said, those hormonal differences do not inhibit emotions all together as men are often deemed not to have. Men have the same emotions that women do, but often they learn through modeling of adults in their lives or from their experiences that expressing those feelings isn't as acceptable for them as is is for women. 

To be clear, I am not saying that these ideals that society uses to define men and women are true or applicable at all. I am merely pointing out that there IS an idea of what a man or a woman looks like that forms even before that person is born. Because of this ingrained sense of thinking, it can be difficult to imagine or "think outside the box" if you will what gender neutral or gender absent might look like. Perhaps a person may choose not to uphold the ideals of a particular gender despite carrying the associated sexual characteristics. Perhaps one may choose not to identify with any particular gender and just be. 

If you think about the animal kingdom from which humans have evolved, it actually doesn't make evolutionary sense for women to be the "fairer" or more beautiful sex. Think about peacocks for example, the male has beautiful feathers in order to attract the female. In the animal kingdom, males typically have to compete for the female's attention and/or willingness to mate, and therefore have evolved to be more attractive. Males also may have to fight other male prospects to win over the female mate and thus have evolved to to be bigger and more aggressive.

Don't hate me for saying this, but there are actual biological differences between the sexes. Reproductive organs for one. There's also that Y chromosome. And the fact that human females have 2 X chromosomes, therefore providing them with an evolutionary advantage over X-linked diseases by giving them an extra copy of these genes in case one should be deleted or rearranged. Another biological difference between the sexes is with reproduction itself. Males can reproduce with several females within a short period of time, potentially procreating several offspring at any given time, while females can only reproduce with one male at a time. Females are also limited in the quantity of their offspring by the mere fact that each on has to grow in their uterus for 9 months. Technically, one could harvest several eggs from one female and implant embryos into multiple carriers but that limits each carriers fertility for the time being as well. Also, while there is no physical need for mothers to care for their babies (for example, the baby would survive even if adopted), their bodies change after birth in order to provide the food source of the infant who is fully dependent on other beings (and for a long time). The act of breastfeeding and holding their newborn releases a hormone called oxytocin which increases the bonding feeling between mothers and their babies. 

There is something about that Y chromosome that makes boys more physical, aggressive, and active. It can be difficult to differentiate between what society pushes boys and girls to be vs. what true biological traits are actually there. It is something we should strive be more aware of, especially when our children tell us they do or don't relate to certain characteristics of their associated gender. As it is a social construct, we ought to have a goal of being more flexible and accepting of what characteristics individuals feel like they want to exude. We should allow individuals to explore without having to put them in such defined classes of gender. 

One situation which may be thought of as a parents' worst nightmare is ambiguous genitalia diagnosed at birth, meaning the doctors can't tell whether the baby is a male or a female. What does one do? When so much emphasis is placed on "what are you having?" or gender reveal announcements, it creates a very ackward place. Doctors will instruct those parents to stay gender neutral until a certain point, being that the child decides for him/her/itself, or after genetic testing, or after imaging reveals the presence or absence of testicles or ovaries. And what if they make the wrong choice? And what do they tell society in the meantime? But, is there a wrong choice? And how does society respond? 

The unfortunate reality is that the picture that society has painted for men and women genders is not equal. That isn't to say that males and females shouldn't be treated equally or given equal opportunity. Some things in our society should probably be adjusted or factored in to equalize the sexes, but we have a long journey ahead for us to get to that equality. But I do think it's possible and doable.